The Last Straw

…in The Many Faces of Paul Straw

Perhaps you are like me. And of course, if so, you should be pitied. Even so, perhaps you’ve googled your own name. I had the misfortune of performing a Google Search on yours truly, “Paul Straw”, and I was flabberghasted by what I saw.

Here are my top 5 favorite/most detestable/must be eliminated Google results for “Paul Straw” on the world wide web.

5) The Paul Straw C Crown Hat

I have my own hat. Suck it, Mitch Fedora. I encourage everyone to purchase it so they can look jaunty around town.

4) Some punk kid named Paul Straw

Some weasel from Sonora, CA who has the site www.paulstraw.com . Honestly, at first I was a bit miffed at this, but I’ll be honest with you.  He and I exemplify the generation gap that exists between my own dashing age and those born 5-6 years later. I could have bought the rights to my namesake website years before he could even drive, but back then I was all about anonymity when I was going online and blogging, choosing instead to go by my longtime internet handle, the famous Gourmetemu moniker. Whereas today, the web is about letting everyone know who you are (i.e. Facebook, other social networking). Self-important jerks.

So kudos to you, Other Paul Straw, your site is going to get a million hits as soon as I hit it big. Which should happen any day now.

3) Election Results/Polls

During an election, there are little things called straw polls. Ergo everything involving Ron Paul, St. Paul or Jack Straw (who apparently is seated in Parliament next to a Paul) gets brought up by my own name.

2) Sex Offenders

I really had no problem with any Paul Straw until this guy. Paul Straw, convicted child sex offender… who is currently drawing controversy at his workplace, where he runs a home for disabled adults. Rightly so? Not sure. Wow…thanks dude. Me and the younger Other Paul Straw up there really appreciate what you’re doing for us. Douche. You can read more about him here.

Apparently the line between politics and a sex offender is merely the Minnesota/Wisconsin border… in the Paul Straw search term world.

1) Paul Straw Brand Cabinets

In the beginning, if you googled “Paul Straw” you got very few things. Minnesota election results, Paul Cezanne paintings include straw hats, myself and this. This company is based out of Montana and I promise them right now, when I get older I’m am buying your cabinets. Please stay in business long enough so I can ship in Paul Straw brand cabinets to whatever state I’m living in.

Other Things That Also Pop Up
Every imdb ripoff in every country or newspaper that gives me a link due to Batman/Speed Racer.

Listen, it’s a great name and these are just some of the people who get to use it…deservedly or not. But there’s only one Paul Straw…despite previous evidence.

Uh…not him.

There’s that handsome devil, who I’m sure you’re most likely looking at.

-PS