Moon County Reflects on Our Nation.
I sent out an email to the rest of the guys asking them to make a comment or two on what they love about America/what makes them proud to be an American. The responses…were interesting to say the least. It turns out only a few of us are actually members of this country and the rest are, at best, Canadians or, at worst, godless communists. I’ll let you guys figure out who’s who and call Homeland Security.
Please, celebrate this great nation of ours, but do it safely. Have a good weekend, guys.
America. Fuck Yeah.
Matt
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Nick
I love America because so many sacrificed their lives so we could do stupid stuff like this:
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Joey
I’m proud to be an american because of:
- panda express
- china town
- “made in Taiwan stickers”
- p. f. changs.
- taco bell
- tobacco plantations
- a whole continent of buffalo plains
- the auto-mo-car
- wal mart
- phrases like “y’all”
- sour mash whiskey
- meth labs
- and all the industry i can eat.
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Paul
I love three things. 1) we’re a country that no matter how lazy you are or how stupid something is that you’ve done, someone is always going to be lazier or do something more stupid. 2) our delicious native turkeys and eagles. 3) American English is the best form of language evah! We’ve cherry picked from every other form of dialect and language, learning and forming our own. Clearly we’ve hit the pinnacle of language where everyone else needs to speak like us.
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Aaron
What I love about America is our sense of entitlement. Regardless of the circumstances, a significant factor in most national political debates revolves around whether or not you believe America is #1. Granted, the only things America may actually be #1 at are A.) forcing our movies, television and popular culture down the rest of the world’s throat and B.) not having wars on our soil, and C.) being a moral authority because, you know, we said so. But damn it, that is #1 at something!
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Joey, again
also scotch…
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Matt
I apologize for the length of my article, but considering I moved here from a country where it was always 100 degrees with five thousand percent humidity, filled with bugs the size of your fist, outlying islands teeming with extremist religious groups, and was at the time being run by a dictator, there’s quite a bit I actually like about being an American:
I love a lot of things about America. First off we were the first country to tell a major colonial power to go screw and didn’t get our asses kicked or collapse several years later. We brought back democracy and republican government after centuries of inbred rule by shut-ins and degenerates. We invented the cowboy, grit, rugged individualism, the state of having “gravel in your guts” become something to achieve. The cowboy was such a big hit we exported it to Australia.
We came up with the superhero. Where heroes in other countries were guys born to the noble class who just went to school slightly longer than the next guy, our heroes were throwing cars at mobsters, singlehandedly repelling alien invasions, and punching through time.
We invented the best genres of music. Blues, jazz, rock ‘n’ roll, and hip hop. What’s that, the Beatles, Rolling Stones, AC/DC, and Led Zeppelin aren’t American bands? When did they become cool? When we said they were. Fuck, yeah.
Could you imagine movies if the film making capital of the world were elsewhere? Jesus, it’d all be four hour, colorless art house films about how hard it is to be bored and white. No explosions, no gunfights, no car chases, and, frankly, those movies (which are awesome) make you appreciate all the pussy movies.
Without our testosterone laden approach to moving pictures, everyone would complain that every movie is about how a sexually ambiguous man, languishing in the middle class, is trying to find psychological footing after receiving a promotion, but his dad, who hates him, has ball cancer. A hundred years of that and all those weiner kids today would rejoice the few times a year when a movie came out that was about explosions and danger.
You’re welcome, Art House fags.
We walked on the moon. We cured polio. Whenever disaster strikes, violence breaks out, or a disease goes pandemic, who does the world call first? Oh yeah, America. We’re angry and violent but when it counts, when shit has to get together fast, no one does it better or faster than us. Diseases, gone. WWI, we helped turn the tide. WWII, we walked all over the Pacific and out produced every other nation on Earth combined. We broke the sound barrier. We put the computer into every home. We perfected the CG dinosaur.
We’re not perfect, but we keep moving forward. We have our low points and dark times but every couple of years we get a chance to try again, and see if we can’t do better. We’re capable of terrible lows and fantastic highs, and, even when humbled, we’re never beaten. We change; we adapt; we endure.
Not to mention every other culture on Earth got to take a turn running the planet and commanding huge influence, but no other country had to do it in the era of mass media, nuclear weapons, biological weapons, or instant communication, and we’re still here baby! Suck it, enemies of free speech, freedom of religion, and football.
Happy Birthday, America; you big beautiful bastard.
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Please enjoy all these other pictures I went through the trouble of tracking down and hosting but could not find a place for in the article.
“Low taxes and universal health care are the rights of all sentient beings.”
Some people say you can’t kill an idea or beat a philosophy into submission. Those people are quitters.
Seriously, watch Generation Kill. It’s by the people who brought us the Wire.
We also invented stadium concerts, pyrotechnic displays, and jumbotrons.
Seriously, seriously watch Band of Brothers. It’s incredible.
We had to invent a new genre of music so we could be the best at that, too.
Respect knuckles was also ours.
The U-S-A chant is the single greatet thing a crowd can do all together.
